Oh Jonah!

The last few weeks I have felt as though I had been somehow running... not sure where to, or from, or why... The last few nights the Holy Spirit has really given me a nudge to the point of not being able to rest at night. Last night I figured out why... I have been a Jonah! Running from what God had revealed to me out of fear. My fear has been of unworthiness, weakness, lack of leadership, and the list can go on. The Lord placed in my heart to reach out to college students in our church with my husband. My response was, "Surely the message was NOT for us. We are at a crazy stage in our lives, three little ones that are quite a hand-full... I misunderstood." Deep down I knew... But, not realizing I kept going through my days as if none of it happen. After several months went by I shared it with Jeremy and his response was NOT what I expected. He said, "yeah, I agree with you!" I said, "WHAT?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?! DO YOU SEE OUR LIVES RIGHT NOW???? DO YOU SEE HOW OUR HOUSE LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN HIT BY SEVERAL TORNADOES????"

We decided to really pray about it and make sure that's what God had for us... we really don't desire to be out of God's will. Not realizing we pushed that to the back of the burner and kept going forward with our hectic life... Jeremy going to work and me staying home. The more I seek the Lord the more conviction He brings me. He told me if I ever get to the place where I feel "qualified" to serve Him I am in DEEP waters, drowning in pride and self reliance. I guess I never looked at it like that... which means deep down in my mind the truth was distorted... and I believe a lie to be true. God says in II Corinthians 12:9 that HIS power is perfected in my weakness. This verse has been kept in the forefront of my mind. After this reminder God placed in my spirit His desire is for ALL to know Him... If Jeremy and I chose to obey Him in the small things, like reaching out to the college student age in our church... God has a mighty plan for Jeremy and I. I need to stop worrying about what "I" can or cannot do but think about what GOD can do through me.

Lord, teach me to be quickened in my spirit to obey You. May Your will be done through Jeremy and I. Use us for Your kingdom and glory.

June 12, 2011

So, my husband is in the airplane headed on a business trip out of state until Thursday night. This means until he arrives at the end of the week I will very much feel like a single mom of three 2 and under. This is the longest trip he's been on away from us... let's see how it goes. These are the moments I pray hard for true single parents as it is much more difficult than just having your spouse away for a few days... GOD BLESS YOU SINGLE PARENTS!!! Being a parent with a tag-teamer is hard enough... CANNOT imagine!!!

To my surprise today has actually been a quite productive day. Awesome time with the Lord this morning, groceries for the week have been bought, all three girls napped, kitchen almost organized, and the girls are playing nice with each other. In my book this is a very productive day. Thank You Lord! I needed a feel of accomplishment after this week. It was a beast!

Chique and Sassy Custom Bow Holders

Ok, we are working on paying off debt and I am going to be selling bow holders. They are great unique gifts for any age girl. Let me know colors and style preference if interested. Will post some pictures up soon. Thanks!

Screws Missing More Ways Than One...

A few months ago we purchased a used swing set with a slide so the girls can have outside play without having to drive. Today, after another day of girls being wound up about swing and slide, I went outside and set it up... ALMOST. I was so excited about "accomplishing" something today, since everyday no matter how much I put things up it ALL ends up EVERYWHERE. But, we're missing some screws... I thought I was the only one missing some screws but apparently the swing set is in the same boat. And only thing I seemed to accomplish today was... well... the girls and I survived... barely!

Days like these, which happen more often than not, are a wonderful reminder that I am not at this alone. I usually forget this fact in the midst of the chaos in our life... especially being home every day all day long... Don't get me wrong it is most definitely wonderful that I get the privilege not many women get to be a SAHM, but just like any full time job... or 3... it's tiring. But today I am reminded that Jeremy is a wonderful help with picking stuff off the floor, doing dishes, putting girls in bed, and allows me to lock myself in my bedroom to unwind. I really am blessed! Not all husbands are this generous after a long stressful day at work. I love how somehow the Lord gives Jeremy extra energy to do these on the days I am completely exhausted... and gives me extra energy to complete the day when Jeremy has a rough day at work and needs time himself. God really does supply ALL our needs.

Another reminder today is that no matter how crazy the day goes, God is with me. Again, I forget this too often. If I don't wake up and have a pep talk with the Lord before the day begins I go through the day in my own strength... It does NOT go well! But as soon as I invite the Lord to sustain me and help me be a mom, HE DOES! I cannot explain exactly but the day is much smoother and peaceful. Thank you Lord for truly not leaving me and not forsaking me!

"And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed."
Deuteronomy 31:8 NKJV

Stop Acting Like You're 2!

Well, we are into a new phase in our lives... Jessica and Kaitlyn, our 2yr old twins, are acting like 2 year olds. WOW! I've had warnings of this stage sometimes called "the terrible two", but, it never dawned on me it would be multiplied by TWO!

So, the last few days have felt like everything I've taught Jessica and Kaitlyn have been lost. Where are the sweet little girls that just needed one warning of time out to obey? Instead I find myself asking/pleading multiple times for them to pick something up, sit down, go potty in the potty not on the floor, not to pick their nose, stop pushing/pulling/pinching/sitting/slapping sisters, an so forth... to get a response clear as day, "no". I take a deep breath as my face begins heating up matching Texas Summer, pause a while, look deep into their eyes and with a stern tone ask again... After a pause with them looking around thinking about how to respond, a soft "no" comes out. So, then I give them a choice... Obey or sit in time out. This choice is easy, RIGHT?! Apparently not always! Following their disobedience I place them in time out and things begin escalating... They won't sit in time out so I give a warning to stay in time out or get a swat on their bottom. Thankfully they don't go further... But, REALLY?!?! So by the end of the week I'm not sure who will survive, me or the girls... well, more like the end of the day...

Poor daddy... gets home from a hard day at work to a worn out wife ready to pass the torch, aka- girls, for a break.

Yes, life in the Harris Household is more like a zoo than anything else. My prayer is that the Lord teaches me to be the mother I need to be... Because DANG!!!! I cannot do it ALONE!!!!

Two heads are better than one

Why is it so hard for me to realize I can't do it alone? Why do I have such a hard time asking for help or accepting help? Maybe I think it's a sign of weakness? Maybe I have a fear of placing my trust in someone and being let down? There is an underlying reason for sure... now is trying to figure the source out.

I am learning that... well, I am weak! When I try doing everything on my own strength I fall flat on my face, stress creeps in, low self-esteem arises, feeling of failure erupts, disappointment floods over me, and I feel the urge to hide. So, why do I eventually try doing it on my own strength again when I know the outcome? Well, I quickly forget I am weak and don't have the strength to juggle life on my own. BUT, I am learning that I don't have to try and do anything on my own, I have Jesus Christ in me.

(II Corinthians 12:9-10) God says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Lord, thank you for teaching me that You are right there waiting to help me in all things. Continue to reveal Yourself to me as I spend time in your Word, the Bible. I place my hope and trust in you and not myself. It's difficult being a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend... when I try doing things myself I cannot fulfill any of those roles well, but I am learning... with you ALL things are possible.

(Phillipians 4:4-8, 13)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.